I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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