this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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