also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
