God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Me too!
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
