I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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