Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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