okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
