im six kinds of drunk right now
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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