Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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