is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
