i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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