WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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