This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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