he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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