Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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