Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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