Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It's blow job season.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize