he wants to bone in the snuggie
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
