You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
