now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
