If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
