Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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