So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
