he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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