Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
