i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
