God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I checked into jail on foursquare
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
