Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
