I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
