I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
