don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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