Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
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