she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize