Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
