oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Its about making memories worth repressing
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Randomize
