We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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