talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I believe in your delicious
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
