I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
