Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
