Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I would fuck him just for his dog
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
