Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
As shirtless as possible
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Randomize
