I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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