i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
