yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
my liver is dry heaving
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
