theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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