history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Randomize
