And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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