R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
