next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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