I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
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