What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
