I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Randomize
