Redeem this text for a blowjob
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
