His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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