i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
being pregnant is like rehab
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize