I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
