So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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