loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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