Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
