Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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