so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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