i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
