Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
