Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
