I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
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