I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
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