You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
