I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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