A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Randomize
