Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
