He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
