new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
