Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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