I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
