Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
